Cubes and Boxes

Our family (hubby and me) is in the midst of moving. Have you too made a move, and, on the loading end, felt a bit of dislocation as you felt neither here nor there? 

Looking around today while trying to decide where I am living at the moment, I mused that a particular art-form helped me put into words how I felt  . . . .

Moving to a New City

Amid the boxes packed and strewn

My life’s story scatters

Like a Picasso still life;

A puzzle to be sent off

To a new home

Where a solution stirs

As, unpacking,

I will reflect on what was,

And what is to be,

While feathering the

Chapter of today in 

Freshly uncubed recesses

Of hearth and home.

© Nancy Gerst, 5/3/13

 

Violin and Grapes, 1912 - Pablo Picasso

 ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

MUSIC LINKS

A trilogy of music for the moving blues ...

TAKE-OFF

Lark Ascending - Ralph Vaughan Williams 

EN ROUTE

Wanderer Fantasy, D. 760 - Schubert

AT HOME

The Lord Is My Shepherd - Harold Goodall 


 

 

I Love You too Much

One of my Facebook friends posted a prayer her four-year-old said this evening:

Dear God, thank you for being so nice to us. 

I love you. Too much. More than anyone. Amen." 

I feel like praying that prayer too this evening. Some days you just are more aware of how full the cup of life is...the good hand of God present in some unexpected ways and places. If entering the kingdom of God requires becoming like a child, this young child's prayer is a good, sincere prayer to prod my own praying. It's not just words for me to read with a warm fuzzy feeling and say, "Ah, how cute." 

So thank you little one for praying with such a tender, sincere heart. Thank you Mom for sharing something helpful and lovely on your Facebook page.

A dear friend came by this afternoon and packed our library of books for me. With energy and love she filled boxes as we chatted and listened to some music that had brought us together. I had made a little playlist to accompany our worktime and celebrate our friendship. Music and worship had been the seed for our friendship when I served at Edenton Street UMC as their Interim Music Director.

My friend Kat, far left, during warm-up for a service.

Listening to those songs this evening, this song text was playing -- Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life -- as I came across the above prayer. 

Thank you for being so nice to us. So nice to us ... a child-like way to say, My cup runneth over. Surely. Surely. Love that prompts a child to say, I love You. Too much. Yes, surely. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me. Yes, here in a home being pulled apart for a move (always a somewhat traumatic experience), in our new home (we're moving to a new city), and all the little nooks and crannies along the way. 

All the days. Not just some of them. Not just the ones where everything is in place and there are no daunting tasks, wrinkly circumstances, or even monsters under the bed of life.

I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. Yes, someday in heaven, but today in a very real sense, I am dwelling in the Lord's house surrounded by his care. My head is covered with the finest oil. My cup runneth over.

Lord, may I always pray "thank you for being so nice to us." And even on those rare occasions when life's worst is hurled at me or those I love. Help me at all times to see your hand leading, the table you are preparing, your love every day. You guide me. You comfort me. 

The angelic voices ring out, Lauda! Lauda! Lauda! (I will praise the Lord). Or in the words of a four-year-old, "Dear God, I love you. Too much. More than anyone."

~~~~~

MUSIC LINKS

Here is a link to the playlist mentioned above.

Here is the choral anthem "Psalm 23" by Randall Stroope that blessed me so this evening. 

If you are not familiar with the text of the beautiful Psalm 23, here it is in several translations.

Bookends to My Day

What is the first thing you do when you awake each morning? 

Composer Eric Whitacre said in a conversation on reddit (Jan. 11, 2013) that he said he begins each day by reciting e.e. cummings poem, "i thank you god for most this amazing day." Before he even opens his eyes.

I always pray or say a verse or two of scripture before I sit up in bed, but I didn’t have one particular plan for the first two minutes or so of the day. Whitacre’s comment rattled around in my mind for a couple days, partly because I admired his discipline (as one who says he is not a Christian), and partly because I, who claim to be a Christian, wasn’t making use of those first golden moments of the day like I  could or should. After a quick, “Thank you Lord for a new day,” or saying the Lord’s prayer, or praying an extemporaneous prayer, my mind and body were often off and running on what do I need to do today. 

I decided for 2013 I would start and end everyday by saying a psalm that I would memorize. It’s been great mental and spiritual exercise to put these words to memory. That admonition to “hide God’s word in my heart,” isn’t just an exercise in discipline. It will change your life to carry God’s word around like a precious, always available treasure.  

I chose Psalm 139, a psalm that speaks to God’s intimacy with us, and involvement in our lives every moment of every day. It is a great psalm to mull over anytime, but especially at the beginning of the day. I also find when my mind becomes cluttered or overwhelmed during the day, shifting it towards this psalm has been a source for refreshment, even if I just think through the psalm’s bookends:

¹O Lord, you have searched me
    and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar. ³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways. ⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you know it completely, O Lord.

      ^{. . . .}

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.

  ²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting.

The parallel of the bookends is deeply meaningful. It occurred to me just this week that the Psalm begins by affirming that God has searched me and He knows me. The middle sections describe just how well he knows me and how close He is all the time. The Psalm ends by asking God, “Yes! I acknowledge that You are amazingly present in my life and I want you to search me and know me and lead me!” Bookends like these elephants below--similar, yet a little different.

Those two closing bits in verses 23 & 24 about “anxious thoughts” and “offensive way” really are a summary of all that is amiss. We worry, or we sin. Two things God wants to help us confess and run from. Lead me in the way everlasting. What a beautiful bookend for either end of the day.

In 2007, I purchased these elephant bookends for my husband’s birthday. They are from India, purchased at a fair trade store in Harrisonburg VA. With this blog post, I will always think of Psalm 139 when I dust them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Here’s a piece by Eric Whitacre, “hope, faith, life, love”

This work has resonated with many people in their 20’s and 30’s. The very straightforward text reflects, in my opinion, a new creed for many young people:

hope faith life love dream joy truth soul

For comparison, here’s a link to the Nicene Creed the church has embraced for hundreds of years, since its formulary roots in 325 A.D.

Shopping for a unique gift? Consider a gift of bookends. Get started here.  

 

p.s.  I should add that I also was inspired by my niece Annie who is intent on memorizing the gospel of John in 2013. What a noble goal for a 20-something. She posts the verses she's memorized each day on Facebook and ends with "Memorize it. Love it." Indeed.

Tada!

In the children's sermon this morning, the pastor asked the children what they thought Jesus might have said when he rose from the dead and came out of the tomb. "Good morning" to the soldiers? "Tada!" like the Jack-in-the-box she had in her hands to surprise the kids?

That made me wonder about my response every time the resurrected Christ brings life to my deadness . . . my dead thoughts, words or deeds, that lie like crusty, wind-blown leaves across the front yard of my life. What an amazing thing that our Lord's resurrection permeates every aspect of our lives, giving us hope in adversity, peace in all circumstances, and joy that defies description. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is truly the most remarkable event in the history of the world.

From my morning devotional guide ...

"As Jesus rises from the dead, our hopelessness, fatalism, and despair all drop away. We leave in the wake of Christ's rising all that weighs us down: our self-absorption, insolence, and indignation. The higher we rise with Jesus, the smaller every enslaving thing becomes. What once seemed impossible is now altogether likely."

                                                                    Magnificat, April 2011, page 260

At the end of the children's message the pastor encouraged the kids to remember the resurrection every morning first thing and thank the Lord for his gift of life. Maybe even jump out of bed saying, "Tada! It's brand new day!" Now that would be a change for me in the morning. My husband could tell you I'm not a "Tada!" person first thing in the morning.

But maybe it's time to turn over a new leaf ...

Christos Aneste. 
Alethos Aneste. 
Christ is risen. 
He is risen indeed!

Painting on a reverse panel of Grünewald’s Isenheim altarpiece

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Music for Resurrection/Easter Sunday:

Hallelujah! from Christ on the Mount of Olives - Beethoven 

This Joyful Eastertide

Vaughan Williams "Five Mystival Songs" (part 1):
"Easter"
"I got me flowers"
Vaughan Williams "Five Mystical Songs" (part 2):
"Love bade me welcome"
"The Call"
"Antiphon"

The Easter Oratorio - J.S. Bach

Lark Ascending - Ralph Vaughan Williams

I'd love to hear what some of your favorites are for this Festival day.

A Good Friday Reflection

At the cry of the first bird
They began to crucify thee,
O cheek like a swan.
It was not right ever to cease lamenting
It was like parting of day from night.

Ah, though sore the suffering 
Brought on the body of Mary's son,
Sorer to him was the grief upon her for his sake.

At the cry of the first bird
They began to crucify my Lord.

                                             An ancient Irish poem


Sung here in a choral composition of mine at a Good Friday service in 2012:
 
At the Cry of the First Bird

Video from the Tenebrae Choral Vesper Service at
Edenton Street United Methodist Church
Raleigh, NC, April 2012.
Nancy Gerst, Director

My friend, Izabela Spiewak, played first violin in the chamber group. Sadly, she died (shortly after being diagnosed with leukemia) in February of this year. I am so glad to have this beautiful memory of her playing for this service, especially on this anthem. 

In this still photo from the video, the anthem's text is on the phrase, "It was not right, ever to cease lamenting." I am reminded that death is our enemy and we will always, ALWAYS grieve when it takes a life. We lament because death is an enemy.

On this Good Friday, I am also poignantly reminded that this enemy is defeated. Jesus Christ willingly died, so that death would not hold sway over us, but that the risen Christ would raise us up to new life in  the last day. Thanks be to God for this gift and this hope.

Death is swallowed up in victory.

O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting? 

The sting of death is sin, 

and the power of sin is the law.  

But thanks be to God, 

who gives us the victory 

through our Lord Jesus Christ.

from I Corinthians 15

Praying with My Fingers

Several years ago during a visit from my son Dennis when he was on leave from Ft. Benning, we had an interesting conversation about music. Listening to some favorite music while cleaning some of his gear, I couldn't help but overhear from the kitchen. It was loud, wild, and made my bones rattle. Music a 20-something young sergeant would find cool and a classical musician mother, not so much.

At dinner I asked him what it was about that kind of music that appealed to him. I couldn't discern any melody, harmony ... anything of beauty. 

His answer stuck with me ...

"It's raw power, Mom. Like I imagine it sounded when God created the world."

Raw power. Creativity unleashed. Awesomeness unveiled. Power for good things.

I can't quite imagine bass guitars accompanying, "Let there be light" ... but I'll give my son that he made me think and I'm still thinking about it. I replied that much of the organ repertoire has the same type of effect.

I've been working on a piece this spring that brought that conversation back to mind. LITANIES by Jehan Alain has that kind of sustained energy and cataclysmic ending that makes you hope the building won't come crashing down around you while you hold the final chord.

From the genre of 20th century French organ music, this piece has been a partner with me for mining the depths of my soul in prayer this Lenten season. It is a powerful piece of music, but not necessarily a "pretty" piece.The composer includes this inscription on the first page:

Quand l’âme chrétienne ne trouve plus de mots nouveaux dans la détresse pour implorer la miséricorde de Dieu, elle répète sans cesse la même invocation avec une foi véhémente. La raison atteint sa limite. Seule la foi poursuit son ascension. 

(When, in its distress, the Christian soul can find no new words to implore God's mercy, it repeats the same plea with vehement faith. The limits of reason are reached, and only faith can pursue its ascension.)    

A reference, I think, to what Paul said in Romans 8:  the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 
Groanings too deep for words. Alain understood how to allude to that in music.

A litany is a form of prayer, often used in public worship that has a repeated phrase. Psalm 136 is perhaps the psalter prayer that established this form:

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,
    for his steadfast love endures forever.
² Give thanks to the God of gods,
    for his steadfast love endures forever.
³ Give thanks to the Lord of lords,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;

⁴ to him who alone does great wonders,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;
⁵ to him who by understanding made the heavens,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;
⁶ to him who spread out the earth above the waters,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;
⁷ to him who made the great lights,
    for his steadfast love endures forever;    

        . . . continued through 26 verses

Here is another example from the Book of Common Prayer. The congregation says the recurring phrases in unison with the thanksgivings and petitions led by the pastor or other leader.

The Great Litany

In LITANIES, the musical motif is repeated and woven with other "thanksgivings and petitions." Is this the story of a soul in anguish boldly running to God in prayer? Is the raw power a musical attempt at illustrating the greatness and power of God? Is it joy of a different language than we're used to? The inclusion of many keys, dissonances, massive layering of the organ's reed and foundation stops, the pulsating yet unmetered rhythm ... all these devices are used to create a prayer of a magnitude most of us rarely offer up. 

I'm thankful that Jehan Alain composed this wonderful organ work. It's stretched my prayer life in helpful ways this spring. I hope listening to this piece gives you pause to consider the freedom the Christian has to bring their fierce-faithed prayers to the One who understands prayers without words and has the wisdom and power to answer them.

Postscript:  My husband remarked a year or so ago after hearing this piece played for a postlude at Edenton Street UMC by Josh Dumbleton, that this was used in a work he knew from the rock band Renaissance in their piece called Running Hard. That's a very interesting connection. 

 ~ ~ ~ 

LITANIES - by Jehan Alain - an audio recording of me from a practice session today.

Here is Alain's sister, Marie-Claire, playing this piece. It is his most famous work, and after his untimely death as a soldier in WWII, she tirelessly promoted his works. A concert artist of the highest order, she died just this past February at the age of 86. More about her here.

Colorado Rockies - Photo by Jerry Begly

My brother Jerry posted this photo today on Facebook. It's a stunning illustration of the combination of rugged power and unspeakable beauty.

Fair Maid and the Beast

I recently ran across this poem-for-tax-season that I wrote a number of years ago. This was before I married an accountant. Tax filing is much easier these days ... he takes care of it all. (That's him in the photo below.)

My apologies to the IRS and any faithful employees there who receive the short end of the stick in this poem. I write in hyperbole ... mostly.

Duty in Service and Paying Lots of Taxes

TAXES

"What a burden!"
She mutters as sloggingly 
Forms and dashes of paperwork
Are gathered into one pile
And sleeves rolled up
To attack the Beast.

Could there be a way to 
Brighten this task,
To turn grit into
Delectable morsel of duty?
Could the wordiness and
Numberliness and clumsiness
Be slimmed and trimmed
Into task of lighter fare?

Nay! Shouts the man whose
Paycheck depends on
Hatching numbers into 
Prepared statements of 
How-I-spent-last-year
Via numbers and columns and codes.

Nay! Shouts the politicians whose
Paycheck depends on 
Expanding the forms and
Explaining the numbers in 
Documents tedious, long, and overdone. 

Nay! Shouts the IRS whose
Existence bulges with the fatness of 
Forms and Instructions ad infinitum
And row upon row of terse-lipped
Lackey who spins the web of 
Helpful Confusion in
Media massive and tiny-fonted.

And so the yearly battle
Rages 'twixt fair maid
In slippered feet
And Revenue Beast in
Multi-layered Black and White cloak;
The brutal fight will end when 
She sighs and lays down her pen,
And remarks with quiet resolve,
"Next year I'll beat him at his game
And fire the first shot
Before he steals all the gold
From my tiny pot."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

MUSIC LINKS

Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (JSBach) - after-tax version