A Soft Heart

My friend Katherine once told me about listening to a Mozart piece with her granddaughter, who was maybe eight or nine at the time. At the end of the piece the young child said, "Listening to that makes my heart soft."

This evening after a piano student left from a lesson, I sat down and played Mozart sonatas for over an hour. I repeated all the slow movements, the beautiful "Andante" and "Largo" settings several times. And it made me feel so at peace. Indeed, my heart felt soft. 

What is it that makes your heart soft? And when you get to that soft place, what happens next?

FIRST STEPS by Van Gogh

Here is the second movement from Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 23, Zoltán Kocsis at the piano with the Virtuosi di Praga under Jirí Behlohlávek.

And the simple, lovely Andante from Mozart's Piano Sonata in C Major K. 545, played by Mitsuko Uchida.

This Van Gogh painting captures the beauty of a simple yet joyous moment in family life. If that painting had a soundtrack (like the movies do) it might be one of the Mozart selections above. If Van Gogh hung out with you or me for a day, what scene might he capture on canvas that would go with the Andante?

Here's the famous "Mozart" scene from the 1994 movie Shawshank Redemption. And here is the thought-provoking quote heard at 2:12 . . .

"I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is I don't want to know. Some things are best lest unsaid. I like to think they were singing about something so beautiful it can't be expressed in words and makes your heart ache because of it. I tell you those voices soared---higher and farther than anybody in a gray place dares to dream. It was like some beautiful bird flapped into our drab little cage and made those walls dissolve away, and for the briefest of moments, every last man in Shawshank felt free."

Here is a link to the whole aria from the opera "The Marriage of Figaro."

Larry and I saw that opera at the Kennedy Center several years ago. It was a magical evening and left my heart soft for "better things" for weeks. 

Morgan Freeman, the actor who shares this quote said it so convincingly. What does it mean that every man felt free? Music has the power to liberate anyone who is a prisoner to things or places or situations that are ugly or demeaning, or even boring, monotonous. It can also put one in a place to dream about doing great things or being enlarged, free from small dreams and smallness of spirit. In the spiritual realm, it can free the eyes of one's heart to see the greatness and beauty of God and His created world and begin to understand one's place in that.

There is so much noise in our world, that the sound of beauty--whether in music, the song of a bird, or a friend's voice--sometimes get drowned out. It's there all around us. May we take the time and care and stop to listen!

Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow

Yesterday I played Fantasy on the Doxology for the offertory at Edenton Street UMC. So many people spoke to me afterwards about what a blessing is was that I thought I'd share it here today (click on the highlighted titled).

It was not easy to play this piece in front of so many people just a short time after burying my mother. She loved to hear me play and she loved this arrangement. Somehow in her death and passing on to glory I feel a rebirth in my own life. Perhaps it's the reminder that time is truly short on this earth, and each day is an opportunity to bring glory to God or merely drift through our existence.

For those of you that would enjoy commentary about the arrangement, that is included at the link above. Over the years this song has "settled" with me, and I think I play it with even more passion than when I wrote it early in the 1990's. This recording is from 2000.

Morning Going to Work by Van Gogh

I like to include photos of great art with my posts. For this post, here is a painting by VAN GOGH, "Morning; Going to Work." The simplicity and pastorale aspect remind me of my years growing up in the Indiana farm county, although I never rode a mule to work!

The ability to work is a blessing from God. I think back over my life and the multitude of blessings good employment has been for me. For all those beginning your work week, may the Lord bless your hours with fruitful, loving duty done in faithfulness and joy.

The Lord's Prayer

Salvi da Sassoferrato

Malotte's setting of "The Lord's Prayer" is on my heart and mind this evening. Here is the title track from the album "The Lord's Prayer" I made in 2000, for piano solo. This was recorded on the sanctuary Kawaii grand at Resurrection Lutheran Church in Cary, North Carolina.

This morning's sermon was on forgiveness. Pastor Ned Hill ended with these words from the Lord's Prayer, "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." Dr. Sally Thomas sang the Lord's Prayer following the sermon (which she did so beautifully). You can hear that sermon here. BE FORGIVING

Several weeks ago on January 9 my sister-in-law Marti Begly sang this for my mother's funeral and I accompanied her. Mom had left detailed instructions for her funeral service and this was her request.  Here is the live clip from that beautiful service:  THE LORD'S PRAYER sung by Marti Begly

This painting, "The Virgin in Prayer" by the Italian Baroque painter, Sassoferrato (1609 – 1685), made me wonder if Mary, the mother of Jesus, used the prayer Jesus taught the disciples in her own times of prayer. It certainly is possible. I also wondered as I gazed at this painting, what a painting of me at prayer might look like. Would I be known as a woman of prayer enough for someone to even consider capturing me in that posture of personal reflection?

My mother did take a photograph of me praying at bedtime when I was about three years old. This must have been on a Saturday night, because my hair is in curlers in preparation for Sunday school and church the next day. I'm thankful for parents that taught me to pray from my earliest days!

Nightwalk

St. Peter in Prison by REMBRANDT

Silent, slow, the thoughts at evening go

Unannounced through the remains of the day

Searching for untucked pieces lying low

In hope of blanketing softly, putting away

All wildness and leftover fears

As night falls and dreams draw near.

Lord, go with me and let your beauty

Snuff out all drab or barren ideals

Birthing loveliness on duty

Done in midst of things that steal

Bits of joy when heart and mind bend

With clouded view of my life’s end.

Bathe these reflections in true prayer,

The kind that softens me to receive Love

From the one Friend who quietly shares

Wordless bonding and takes hold of

Who I am, enlarging smallness into light

Glowing softly, peaceful against the night.

 © 2012 Nancy Gerst

And let the beauty 

of the Lord our God 

be upon us.    

Psalm 90:17

Rembrandt's paintings are noted for the strong use of chiaroscuro, the contrast between dark and light. WIKIPEDIA further notes:  "Classical voice instructors describe the optimal balance of clearness and darkness in the singing voice tone as chiaroscuro: a combination of brightness and "ping" (brilliance and resonance) with warmth and depth i.e. the 'dark' colours (natural or manufactured) of the individual timbre." 

Here is a beautiful piece by Russian composer Pavel Tschesnokov, "Salvation Is Created" which I find especially soul-stirring at nightfall. It also illustrates a chiaroscuro choral timbre. 

Salvation Is Created

DANCING FOR JOY

One week after Mom's funeral the video and song below gives me a comforting smile as I remember an incident in the hospital with Mom. 

The physical therapist was working with Mom at the side of her bed and wanted her to hold on to him and side-step to the foot of the bed. "Like we're dancing," he said. Without missing a beat, she said, in all seriousness, "Baptists don't dance." 

Daisy at her 2nd Birthday Party

Those at the reception saw her great-granddaughter Daisy (my granddaughter) dancing with her blanket all around granddaughter Heidi as she sang a couple songs that were Mom's favorites from her repertoire (including one with yodeling which Heidi is really good at). 

I'm thinking Mom's views on dancing may be a little modified now that she is joyfully in Jesus' presence. She did love children and she did have a simple yet profound faith. The person who put this montage to SIMPLE GIFTS together selected many lovely paintings and drawings of children in their happy, carefree moments. 

At the beginning of a new year, I want to keep this childlike wonder and freshness in my heart and life. SIMPLE GIFTS is a good reminder . . . enjoy!

SIMPLE GIFTS with Yo Yo Ma and Alison Krauss 

Knitted Snowflake

This Psalm-companion-poem was written for a friend when she was dying of cancer. It is equally appropriate for my mother. I miss her so much and she's only been gone a week . . . she too was like a beautiful, unique snowflake.

 

Snowflake

She fell softly to earth on the morning of her birth

Blessing all who came in contact with her glistening life

Inspiring awe over creation of such beauty

In one little wisp among so many

Faithfully shining out the imprint of the Creator

Until He repurposed her for heaven,

Melting tear-like

Then stealing silently upward.

                      Nancy Gerst, 2009

This passage from Psalm 139 was very precious to my Mom and I remember her quoting it to her grandkids when they were struggling, particularly through teenage years of doubt and confusion. She always held out the value of each individual as a unique, beautiful creation of God . . .

You Created My Inmost Being

O LORD, you have searched me

       and you know me.

 For you created my inmost being;

       you knit me together in my mother's womb.

  I praise you because I am fearfully

       and wonderfully made;

       your works are wonderful,

       I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

       when I was made in the secret place.

 When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

    your eyes saw my unformed body.

 All the days ordained for me

       were written in your book

       before one of them came to be.

                                      Psalm 139. selected verses, NIV

Below is a photo of my niece, Callie Begly, knitting a shawl for my birthday in November, made of alpaca and silk yarn. My Mom commissioned this artwork, her last gift to me. I will always treasure it because it symbolizes so much of her love, care, and wisdom.

 

My Mother's Flight to Heaven

My mother passed away on January 4, 2012. As family gathered for her funeral, stories were shared of her final days, hours, minutes. It was clear to me that she knew her time was coming to leave this world, and that she saw her angels gathering for the flight to heaven. 

I wrote this poem several years ago, but it is a comfort for me to read it again with the eyes of one newly touched by grief.

[update on April 27, 2015 - thinking of a very special friend this evening as I reflect on the days of his life on earth and his new life in realms above. Rest in peace Mike.]
 

Vigil of Angels

The Annunciation Angel by TITIAN

Always ready to do His bidding

The mighty, patient one stands alongside,

With watchful, tender, gleaming eye

Knowing how to trust and judging

Not by labored breath or pain etched face

But keenly watching the soul prepare for the journey;

Growing steadily more beautiful in grace,

Fingers of earth loosening their grasp

And the hands of the trusting spirit lifting toward

God and His Remarkable Kingdom.

Wings at the ready,

Caring hands laying unseen

Upon the shoulder

Ready to gather up and fly away

When the Moment arrives

Even as other Escorts from Beyond

Gather to sing their Flight Songs

In music of mysterious strength,

Spirit-fueled, strangely-gentle,

Other-worldly calm.

At the bedside

Earth-born loved ones mix pondering thoughts—

How Death greets all with coldness

And seeming randomness

Even as baptized brows sense

The presence of winged Goodness from Beyond

And grow stronger in their earthly shells of grace

While tears mingle grief and faith

Unshed or flowing freely over

One so loved.

O Christ, Bearer of our all.

At the hour of our departing the need is great.

Kyrie eleison. Christe eleison. Kyrie eleison.

For He shall give His angels 
charge over you,

To keep you in all your ways.

                                                  Ps. 91:11

Here is the stirring anthem by John Taverner, Song for Athene 

The text comes from Shakespeare's "Hamlet" and the Orthodox funeral liturgy:

Alleluia. May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Alleluia. Remember me, o Lord, when you come into your kingdom.

Alleluia. Give rest, o Lord, to your handmaid who has fallen asleep.

Alleluia. The Choir of Saints have found the well-spring of life and door of paradise.

Alleluia. Life, a shadow and a dream.

Alleluia. Weeping at the grave creates the song : Alleluia.

Alleluia. Come, enjoy the rewards and crowns I have prepared for you. Alleluia.